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Home Artificial Intelligence

Police Report: Edward ‘Big Balls’ Coristine Assaulted in Alleged Carjacking

Simon Osuji by Simon Osuji
August 6, 2025
in Artificial Intelligence
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Police Report: Edward ‘Big Balls’ Coristine Assaulted in Alleged Carjacking
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On Tuesday afternoon, President Donald Trump posted a threat on his social media platform Truth Social to “federalize” the District of Columbia, citing claims of gang violence. He also shared a photo of a bloodied, shirtless man sitting in the street. Soon after, Elon Musk tweeted that a Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) staffer was “beaten to the point of concussion” by an alleged gang in DC. Police reports obtained by WIRED confirm that the alleged victim in question was Edward Coristine, the 19-year-old software engineer who has gone by “Big Balls” online and was one of DOGE’s earliest operatives.

According to a report from DC’s Metropolitan Police Department, two people were arrested in connection to the incident, described as a carjacking, between 3:01 and 4:20 am on the morning of Sunday, August 3. The location of the alleged incident is in the northwest region of Logan Circle, a well-known and relatively central area of the city.

In addition to Coristine, the report references Emily Bryant as a second victim and describes her as Coristine’s “significant other.” A DOGE affiliate named Emily Bryant has been linked to the Federal Trade Commission, the General Services Administration, and the Executive Office of the President.

The police report appears to cite federal and local statutes that criminalize carjacking. It also claims that a black iPhone 16 was stolen. When contacted by WIRED, the Metropolitan Police Department initially said that there were no police reports that mentioned an “Ed” or “Edward” Coristine. However, the police report obtained by WIRED says that the victims of the alleged crime were Coristine and Bryant.

According to the police report, officers patrolling the area of the alleged crime “observed a group of approximately 10 juveniles surrounding the complainants’ vehicle,” before allegedly assaulting one of the two victims.

The report also claims that Coristine “saw the suspects approach and make a comment about taking the vehicle.” It claims that Coristine then “pushed” Bryant into the car. Then, according to the report, Coristine “turned to deal with the suspects. The suspects then began to assault [him].”

The police claim that Coristine and Bryant were able to positively identify two of the alleged suspects. At that point, the report claims that those two subjects “were placed under arrest for unarmed carjacking” and transported to the local “JPC,” possibly the Juvenile Processing Center, to be processed.

When the police officers exited their vehicle, the report claims that when the juveniles were “observed” by the officers, they “began fleeing on foot. Officers were able to stop just two of the subjects.

When contacted by WIRED, Metropolitan Police Department spokesperson Tom Lynch could not verify whether or not any of the alleged perpetrators were members of a gang. When WIRED described the picture posted by President Donald Trump on Truth Social that appears to show a bloodied Coristine, Lynch verified that he had seen it. While he said he could not independently verify its authenticity, Lynch did note that the image “was posted by the president of the United States,” and said that “there’s no reason not to believe” it was authentic.



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